I am having a web identity crisis. I have been writing on the Internet since 2004. I started out on Live Journal, moved to Word Press briefly before landing on Blogger with my memoir (now empty as I have removed the text of my posts). I want very much to find a place to stay put and think that this blog may not be it. For now, it will have to do.
I am also having a general identity crisis. I was diagnosed as having an eating disorder last week. Eating Disorder (NOS) is the official, undefined diagnosis. I'm relieved, excited, hopeful and overwhelmed. I am relieved to understand that my years of yo-yo dieting and unhealthy habits mean something other than my perceived years of failure. I'm excited to be getting help and hopeful that this will mean I will reach a healthier weight and better behaviors with food, exercise and body image. Finally, I am overwhelmed because there is so much to take in.
There is a statistic I read that shows a high rate of success for people seeking treatment for eating disorders. I can't find it, so I won't try to quote it. The rate was much better than what I have found than that of losing weight and keeping it off through dieting (it seems this is between 6-20%). 6-20% chance of losing weight and keeping it off! That's it! If I am understanding it correctly, this means 80-94% of dieters fail! Ah, found the percentage of recovery rates. It's from this Wikipedia article, so trust this quote at your own risk: "Prognosis estimates are complicated by non-uniform criteria used by various studies, but for AN, BN, and BED, there seems to be general agreement that full recovery rates are in the 50% to 85% range, with larger proportions of patients experiencing at least partial remission." This is much more encouraging!
Whatever my chances of recovering, I am positive that I can make it through this. I am looking forward to spending time here (for now) to write out my thoughts as I recover from my eating disorder.
